Am I naive?
What do you think of this scenario.
Let’s give the person a name, Mariana.
Mariana invited you attend an event in the coming week. You replied that you are willing to go with. Just 2 days before the event, Mariana called and said that she invited a friend (B) too before you on that day; Mariana invited you to the event. And B agreed to go with too. You and B know each other but not close. So, Mariana said that because both of you don’t know each other and don’t want you to feel awkward when hanging out so she hinted you to bait out. Mariana did not reject on that day because you are a good friend so she feel not nice for rejecting you.
I can tell you the friend of Mariana (B) is a guy , Mariana knows B not long ago but they meet each other thru another friend and not close to. They get close and contact recently on another event.
After that incident, I decided not to join Mariana for an outing plan 1 week ago cause I got other stuff to do. Then when, Mariana asked why, I tell Mariana that part of the reason is, Mariana is using me as back up because for that particular event so I don’t feel nice and I decided not to join her for the coming event. What’s Mariana replied is “My bad then”. From what I know bout Mariana, so I did not wanna mess up the issue so I accepted that so called apologize.
Things still ok after that. Till one day, Mariana called up and asked am I free for that night as, Mariana wanna catch up with me. Since I am free that night so I tell Mariana that I am ok with the plan. Mariana tells me she will call back and confirm about the outing as deciding where to go. After awhile, Mariana message and tell me that she gonna skip tonight plan. So, I ended up asking can I come over and Mariana tell me that she is going out due to somebody invited her for outing. At that moment, I feel that I am just a backup plan for Mariana that night again. She did not even ask me it is ok to skip tonight plan and straight away cancel it on her own. Although we have decided to hang out together but haven’t decided to go where yet and as Mariana like to do random act so I did not plan any either. But, just canceling like that just making me feel that I being used again.
If the friend of her did not ask her out, she will continue our plan. So, it means if got friend invited her to hang out and she will cancels our plan without asking me. Doesn’t it make me look like a backup outing plan?
It that the way to treat a friend? Or it is me being too sensitive/naive over something? Opinion, anyone?
P.S.: I don’t know how close she is with A and the friend of her. So, make your own assumption.
By Nick Au on Aug 17, 2008
Oh my gosh! You must be a woman in your past life la. You’re so emo-ish for a guy!!
My 2 cent’s is that people don’t owe it to you to go out with you. Everyone can make their own choices.
Moreover she just said she invited you, even myself sometimes I invite other people simultaneously. Who knows who’s free.
Stop being such a woman la, maybe people would start hanging out with you again. You are an epitome of small boy syndrome (I’m assuming that you’re at least 17 and above).
Grow up and mature, things would iron itself out. Life’s too short to write emo post like this.
Alternatively go pick a hobby and stop obsessing.
By A-lex on Aug 17, 2008
Nick Au> Erm… I dont know you get what i wanna mention anot. and i dunno which you mentioning. Maybe you dont feel it that way. She invited me to go for an event *the 1st case* and i do agreed to go with which she comfirmed about it too. If she really dont want me to go why invite me at the 1st place? Why not just tell me straight on the day she invited me? If she wanna hang out with her own friend and dont want me around then dont bother to invite me at all. Dont make a promise saying will go with me and later on tell me to bait out because she had invited another person which i dont hang out close with.
It just making me feel like i am a backup if she cant invite friend to go with or no friend invite her to hang out with. Then only she will hang out with me.
As for the 2nd case because of the 1st case i become bit sensitive as i had the feeling of being used again, that’s all.
I do invite people stimultaneously, but i do make sure that people i invited can hang out together and not because another friend wanna hang out with and i have to cancel all the plan i make with other people because my friend wanna hang out with me. I dont cancel plan no matter how close is the person who invite me. Which plan come 1st, I stick to that plan. 1st come 1st serve. Unless it is an urgent matter.
Mind explain why you label that obsessing? You dont feel bad when you are being used? Why cant guy emo? or maybe you are the type of people who think gay/lesbian is wrong? huh? If you are older than me, i bet you see the world more than me and know there are alot of unexpected things appear/happen around the world.
P.S: please read carefully. She invited me and I said yes to join her.
By Jeff on Aug 18, 2008
dude.. seriously, i thought this was way long ago.. Chill man.. gals change their mind quickly, that’s a fact we guys all know..
and that’s why we gotta get used to it.. and biar saje.. IMHO, this is a small matter, sure being angry temporary is totally understandable.. I’d definitely would be.. but after that, just chill lor..
we guys got bigger heart, so we nid to let go only.. that’s the truth man..
By A-lex on Aug 19, 2008
Jeff> Maybe you are right. But really wanna used me please la… say it nicely, reject with a proper way so nobody feel used.
Although guys got bigger heart but being used is not what everyone want. Except for those who are blind in love.